Awful Beautiful Life

I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life…

My Hypothesis Is… September 9, 2008

Filed under: Marriage — Sara @ 3:44 pm

Terry is a wonderful husband and father.  He usually makes perfect sense out of most situations and can calm me down when I freak out (which seems to be happening a lot more recently…).  Except when he’s sleeping and gets woken up in the middle of the night.  If he get startled by a noise, he nearly has a heart attack and grabs the closest thing in reach to use as a weapon (sometimes his pillow, which I don’t think would be very effective for some reason).  If I wake him up because he is snoring or a baby is crying or I’m scared because it’s dark and I heard a noise, it takes him a few minutes to really wake up and be coherent.  Sometimes he will even get up out of bed and walk around, but still be sleeping (I think the medical term/concise way to say it would be sleepwalking).

My not-so-useful-in-the-middle-of-the-night husband.

My not-so-useful-in-the-middle-of-the-night husband.



The first time I encountered this lovely tendency of his, we were living in Lubbock and he woke up in the middle of the night (which means I woke up because something moved and it might get me!).  He never gets up in the middle of the night, so sat up I asked what he was doing.  “Going to the bathroom,” he said, sounding a little annoyed that I asked.  So I lay back down and tried to go back to sleep.  Then, I hear the front door open.  Although we were in Lubbock, we did not have an outhouse, so things didn’t really add up.  So I follow Terry and find him in the front yard, about to do his business (just #1, thank goodness!).   I told him to he needed to go to the bathroom and escorted him inside.  He later told me he woke up mid-pee in the bathroom, wondering what had just happened.

I somewhat shrugged this incident off at the time.  We were in college and it’s likely that Terry had been drinking that night and we all know how crazy drunk people can be (certainly not from personal experience, though…).  Of course, 3 years later, it happened again.  Now I just think he’s crazy, regardless of his level of drunkenness.

So this past Monday night, Nate woke up around midnight.  He’s been waking up several times a night for a week or so because he is getting his molars in (poor baby).  Usually, he cries for a few short minutes and goes back to sleep.  But that night, he cried a little longer and I figured we should give him some tylenol and a comfort snuggle.  So I woke Terry up. Since I’m pregnant AND scared of the dark, I figured he should be the one to rescue Nate.

I nudge Terry and tell him what’s going on and what his mission is.  He gets out of bed and says, “I need to turn on the light.”  “Why?” I asked, annoyed that I had to be disturbed by having the light on.  Doesn’t he know how hard it is for me to fall asleep?!?!  He walked over to the door and turned on the overhead light.  Then, he walked over to the lamp next to his nightstand and turned IT on, as if the 4 fluorescent bulbs above us weren’t bright enough for whatever it was he was doing.  “What are you doing?” I ask, even more annoyed.

“My hypothesis is, that if I turn this lamp off, he will stop crying and go back to sleep,” explains Terry.  WHAT?!?!?  Then he heads for our bathroom, with Nate still crying halfway across the house.  Imagine that, turning off the lamp in our room didn’t make him stop.  “Where are you going now? What about Nate?” I ask, REALLY annoyed now.  “I have to pee.”

By the time Terry flushes the toilet and heads back to bed, Nate has stopped crying.  I ask him if he’s drunk (seems like an appropriate question after what had just happened).  “No,” he says, “I’m just really tired.  Do you want me to go in there still?”  “No, he’s stopped crying now.” (duh! can’t you hear?!?!)  So he turns off the overhead light and curls up in bed, and falls back asleep in no less than 60 seconds.  I lay awake for another 30 minutes or so, trying to understand what just happened.

The next evening, I ask him if he remembers what happened.  He said he woke up mid-pee again and was a little confused.  I guess this is what I have to look forward to after baby #2 comes and we’re up in the middle of the night more often.  I’m so lucky.

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4 Responses to “My Hypothesis Is…”

  1. terry Says:

    CLEARLY IT WAS A CORRECT HYPOTHESIS

  2. Bethany Says:

    wow…….better hope there’s a real emergency in the middle of the night! lol

  3. Erin Mills Says:

    you make me feel better about marriage. Cullen sleep walks/talks/eats/pees. I thought Cullen was the weird one…turns out, it may be a normal thing amonst men. 🙂 btw: i read Terry’s blog and laughed out loud on most of his entries. loudest at his most recent comparison of Tom Brady and Shredder. Sara – you married a very funny man.

  4. Jan Says:

    Not just Terry but probably all of your male offspring. Jim was a sleepwalker (sleep-pee-er) also. Terry also had night terrors and bed wetting, so it is probably better that he walks and then pees!


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