Awful Beautiful Life

I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life…

Life with Two January 12, 2009

Filed under: Marriage,Parenting — Sara @ 2:35 pm

Did you know that babies are supposed to sleep? Like, all the time? And they’re NOT supposed to cry all the time? This news has come as a welcome shock to us. Evie has her moments, but she is a little angel compared to what Nate put us through. She sleeps 5-7 hours at night. I think it took Nate about 6 months to figure that out. And then we ferberized him.  I’m not really sure why we thought it was a good idea to have another kid already, knowing what they could put you through.  I guess we figured it couldn’t be THAT bad again.  I guess we were right.

Nate ate every 2 hours, around the clock.  It would take him 45 minutes to fall back asleep so I maybe got an hour of sleep at a time for the first 2 months or so.  Then we switched to formula, for that and other reasons.  Evie has no eating schedule.  It’s kind of annoying because you never know when she’ll be hungry again- some times it’s 1.5 hours, sometimes it’s 4- completely unpredictable.  She also rarely poops (maybe once every 2 days) which is very different from most infants that poop in every diaper. For Evie, this means we sometimes forget to change her until her diaper is super full, but we’re trying to get better about it!  It’s funny how much you talk openly about poop once you become a parent (sorry to you childless readers…) Those are really my only two complaints about her, and I am more than happy to deal with them considering what she could be doing to us.

I love these people.

I love these people.

Although Evie is a fairly easy infant, the last six weeks have not been easy (I won’t even go into the fun delivery details, you can read them here dated November 27-28).  Had she been difficult, I would probably be writing this from a mental hospital.  I had problems nursing Nate and gave up after 2 months.  I started having similar problems with Evie in the hospital and constantly asked the nurses for help.  Most were encouraging and said I was doing everything right, “it just takes time for mom and baby to adjust”.  The first night nurse told me “some women just aren’t made to breastfeed.”  I wanted to smack her.  Instead, I cried.  How dare she say that to me!  She was probably just being honest, but that’s not what struggling mothers need.  By the time we came home, I was bleeding and in incredible pain at every feeding.  By our 2nd day at home I had chills and 1o4 fever from mastitis, which also makes your boobs even more tender than they already are from engorgement. I could write an entire post (maybe a book) about my struggles and failures with breastfeeding, but I will save you the details.  I gave up when Evie was a week old and I found myself dreading and crying at every feeding.

Only two people I’ve told have been entirely supportive of my choice to bottle feed.  I go through days when I feel like a terrible mother for not being able to stick it out.  Could it really have been all that painful? And then I recall telling Terry how having Evie was way less painful than those feedings and I know that it must have been really bad.  An emotionally and physically well mother, bottle feeding her baby, is much better than the alternative, even if it would have only lasted a few months, in my opinion. If you have something encouraging to say on this subject, please comment. Otherwise, please keep your thoughts to yourself. I can’t go back and change my decision. I’m thrilled that there are women who are able to successfully breastfeed and would encourage every new mom to try it, but it doesn’t always work out.

I’ve already amazed myself with what you can accomplish with two kids, and I still have a lot to learn.  I’ve run into the grocery store with Evie in a sling and Nate on my hip because his shoe fell off in the middle of the parking lot in the freezing rain.  I’ve learned to do oh so many things one-handed- like fold laundry, get Nate out of his crib while giving Evie a bottle, and typing this blog post (VERY slowly).  I’m still a little weary of leaving the house by myself with both kids, but the double stroller is quickly becoming my best friend.  I’m quite proud of how much we’ve done as a family since having Evie.  We were terrified to leave the house with Nate because he would likely scream the ENTIRE time, even in the car, and we would get those judging stares.  I think we went out to eat for the first time when he was 6 weeks old because I was so stir crazy I was about to explode.  Evie, on the other hand, went to the mall, grocery shopping, to Babies-r-us, and out to eat several times before she was a week old.  Apparently, stir-craziness increases exponentially when you have an 18 month old in the house with you. 🙂

And finally, I’m excited to say that Terry and I are getting along better than we have in years.  Not that it’s been bad, it’s just great now.  It’s like when we first started dating. Only with a mortgage and 2 kids.